Lazy Runner Viewpoint
'Bad Self Talk- Good Self Talk'
As most of you know I travel from the Sunshine Coast to Brisbane at 4am, 2 days a week. It’s a dark, boring journey and it takes a lot of will power to keep the eyes open and on the road…however, over the past 6 months I have found something that keeps me awake and I am now absolutely addicted to…Talking Books...Geeky, I know but who would of thought you could learn so much while driving and it makes the journey fly
Over the past few months I been getting the self help ones…I know I can hear you all say…’Self Help, Marie, you don’t need those, you don’t need to change a thing about yourself’...I know, I know , however, even the best of us could do with a little tweaking!
The only problem is that I have listened to so many of them over the past few months, and some times I tend to tune out a bit, or mix up the CDs so now I don’t know which is which. It’s all just one never-ending CD of someone loud and on a bit too much happy gas telling me how I can go from dull, boring and useless into a successful, rich, superstar who everyone wants to be around…I’ve listened to, ‘Don’t Bitch get Rich’, ‘Star Principle’, ‘The Secret’ ‘Getting things done’, ‘Win, Win, Win’, ‘Don’t dream it just do it’,
I think I could write a self help book myself, it would be a compilation of all the bits and pieces from my talking books, and it would probably be called ‘Secrets of a Star Rich, Bitch just dreaming of doing it’, oh dear, that actually sounds like the title of a soft porn movie…anyway the point is…
Every now and again between all the ‘Just think it and it will happen’ and ‘Live your dreams’ and ‘You can have every thing you have ever wanted’ carry on, something quite inspiring just magically pops up and I think, actually that’s not too bad, I can see that making sense or working…..
One that I thought a lot of us could apply to our goals, especially running goals is the ‘Always speak in the third person when making plans or setting goals’
One of my talking books self help gurus realised that when he asked his clients to say why something didn’t work out or why they couldn’t reach their goal, they would start with all the emotional talk, like ‘I couldn’t cope’ or 'my emotional levels were at rock bottom’ and mainly used sentences starting with I feel or I felt, etc .
He could never get to the root of the real problem without all the emotional crap that came out, so he made this rule, all his clients had to speak about themselves in the third person and act like they knew that person’s story but they didn’t know them really well emotionally. He said they all found it really hard at first, but once they go used to it they actually go into the habit of taking out the emotional reasons and just looking at the facts of what happened and who did what and why it really didn't work out.
The recent Gold Coast marathon and training made me see how we often let our feelings and our self doubts get in the way of our real goals , and yet when some one else is doing something, we are so positive and talk them up.
Cath for instance, training for her first marathon, she did everything right, she got up in the dark, she followed the program to the letter, she did all the long, long runs and still managed to hold down a full time job and be a mother to two boys, yet at anytime during the program , if anyone said, ‘Oh wow Cath you are going so well and you are so fit’ she always answered with ‘Oh well I haven’t run it yet’ , ‘I’m not sure how I will go, might not even finish’.
Everyone who knew Cath, knew she was going to run it and finish it…and yet she couldn’t see it or say it…but if Cath had spoken about herself in the third person and not used any emotional talk, she would of said .....
‘Yes, Cath has done the training, she kept her fitness up by running all through Summer, she made the decision last year to run the marathon and she has really done the hard yards, so there is an excellent chance that she will complete her first marathon soon, which is her goal’….all of those things were true, but Cath couldn’t say it about herself.
Since Gold Coast, I’ve floated the marathon idea to a few people who were amazed at seeing all those people on the Goldie running the marathon, and they do the same ‘I’ speak, ‘Oh I don’t think I could do it, it’s just not in me, I would love to but I can’t see myself doing it’…and yet they can see every other Tom, Dick and Mary doing it…why are we so encouraging of others and so hard on ourselves?
Below is an example of how harmful the ‘I’ speak can be, and the difference it makes if you talk about yourself as if you are someone else…for the purpose of this exercise, I’ve changed the names to protect the individuals…not really!!
Dazza would like to run the marathon, he was inspired by Cath and what he saw on the Gold Coast and he thought 'Why not, the boss says everyone can do one, so yeah I’m going to give it a go next year'…
Dazza starts training…this may be an example of his ‘I’ speak,
'What the hell was I thinking? I can’t run the marathon, I’m stuffed at the 19km mark of the half marathon, how could I go on to do double that and more? I can’t see myself putting in all that training, I'll probably get an injury, and sometimes I lose motivation, I can see it doing my head in after a while. I can feel some Low GI’s coming on, I get zapped, my blood sugar level could drop any second of the clock. You never know there could be a banana shortage in QLD next year and then what would I do?… What if I don’t finish it? I just don’t know if I’ve got it in me….But I’ve told the coach I’m doing it now, and I will never hear the bloody end of it if I don’t, I’m just an emotional wreck over it all….
Ok Dazza settle down…now talk about this guy you know called Darren, how do you reckon he will go running a marathon?
So Dazza replies…’Oh yeah I know Darren, he’s a top bloke. He’s been running with Lazy Runner for a couple of years now, just the other day I heard him saying that when he first started he had to stop and walk so many times when he tried to run that first 5km with the boss (of course it didn’t help that he kept trying to get away from her because she wouldn’t shut up). Yeah, since then he has really improved, he’s run 7 half marathons, and in Warwick he ran a marathon over 2 days. He got to that level, by training, extending his distances, turning up at all the sessions, and listening to the Coach! Yeah, I reckon he would go well at the marathon, he watched Cath do it and he knows if he just follows a good training program, looks after himself, trains with his buddies so he has plenty of support. He knows it will be tough and it requires a fair bit of work, but he’s not worried about that, it’s a once in a lifetime experience and Darren is pumped up, he will do it, I know he will.
Wow..See It really works…
Ok Lazy Runner, you are to set yourself a running goal (doesn’t have to be a marathon) and every time you talk about that goal you never say 'I', you have to talk about reaching it in the third person…don’t do it out loud though, especially while you are running, or you may get taken off to the funny farm, but in your head, not you, but someone you know really well is going to do it...