Lazy Runner Viewpoint


Gorgeous, Maybe Not….BUT….

A couple of weeks ago at New Farm Park when I was doing my usual session of yelling and whistle blowing and waking up all the residents in Brunswick street and beyond, there was a personal trainer working one on one with his clients, near where Lazy Runners were working out. When their session finished her parting words to the PT were, ‘Thanks for that, see you next week gorgeous’, I was a bit taken aback and of course I had to have a go at my bunch when they were all sweaty, red faced and doing their stretches, ‘How come you guys don’t speak to me like that’. Quick witted Liz, replied ‘We do, you just don’t hear it through our clenched teeth’

Maybe it’s time I explained a little about myself to Lazy Runners. I arrived on the scene out of the blue four years ago, launched a running club, called Lazy Runner, which for some unknown reason everyone took that to mean nice, fun running (or even walking), with a sympathetic trainer to guide you gently through your workouts, people joined up in droves and after about two weeks they cried foul, ‘We’ve been conned’. I always half expect a TV crew from Today/Tonight to come chasing me through the streets of Coolum, demanding I explain myself and refund people’s money and pay for damages….The thing everyone failed to understand is the business is named after me...I’m Lazy guys are my victims…oh I mean clients!!

I really should come clean…you know very little about me and my history. The truth is I’m the illegitimate love child of Nurse Ratchett (One flew over the cuckoos nest) and the Rocky’s little wizened up old coach (his name was Mickey Goldmill, by the way), so that may explain a bit about my personality! I’m sorry to all the Gen Y’s and X’s who don’t know those two wonderful characters, I really don’t know anyone ugly and grumpy enough in modern day to compare myself to. You will have to give me some suggestions!

You know how there are some people who are beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside; and then there are some people who are ugly on the outside but beautiful on the inside; and then there are the ones that are beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside. Well let’s just say I’m the fourth category in that series!

Yes, I know I can be mean, direct, pushy, bossy, obstinate, and at times way over the top…

However, my good self talk, tells it this way, I’m honest, passionate about what I do, enthusiastic about my runners their results and their safety, hard working. And believe it or not I really do care about You!! And I know I dish it out, but I can take it as well!

I see a lot of PTs out there with their clients and I call them the ‘Yaaay Brigade’.

 ‘Yaaay you’re the best’ ‘Yaaaay you did it’ ‘Yaaay at least you tried’, ‘Yaaay You turned up’ ‘Yaaay your walking’, I sort of figure out that they will tell you anything to make you feel good, and of course pay them $80 an hour and they can dish out anything you want to hear by the bucket load

Ok, once again I’m being a bit harsh, people do react to different types of stimuli when it comes to working out and getting fit, some need lots of TLC and plenty of encouragement and some thrive on Tough Love…Lazy Runner tends to cater to the latter, minus the love bit!

I worked in AFL clubs and I based Lazy Runner on their training workouts. The players turned up, no fancy gear, they were quickly given instructions, they got straight into, no mucking about, they worked as hard as they could for 45min to an hour, they did not answer back, they stretched afterwards, asked any questions and then they went on their way...if they wanted to have a bitch about the coach or the session they just went off for a drink afterwards, got it out of their system, and then turned up a the next training session with a fresh approach and ready to go through it all again. Believe me there was no love lost between the players and their coaches, but there was respect and an incredible amount of discipline. And the way some of the coaches spoke to those boys…well let me tell you it makes me sound like the Dali Lama.

However, Let me say this (Aka Kevin Rudd), If I see you giving me less than the best, just because you can’t be bothered; if I see you doing something that I consider to be totally unsafe; if I know you are training to a level that can be harmful to you; if I know you are running with an injury; if I hear you whinging too much; if I hear you putting yourself down; If I hear you making ridiculous excuses (and believe me I’ve heard them all); if I see you not listening or talking over me when I am coaching,

(you can talk over me any other time you like, just not when I’m working)… then of course I am going to say something…and this is just a wild guess, but it may not be something you dont want to hear…

On saying all that though…

If I have ever made you embarrassed at a session, or you have felt embarrassed by something I have said, if I have offended you in any way, If I haven’t acknowledged something fantastic you have done with your running (probably just by silly oversight by me and not being able to look up all race results). If my tone, my choice of words, my blasphemies have offended your religious code or moral ethics, or just offended...then let me say I am really sorry and I would like to know those things so I can apologise in person.

The upshot of having a brash coach like me, gives you the license to answer back, in fact I encourage feedback, the sledges we did over the Gold Coast training program, were a great light hearted way of runners to have a go at the coach, and you did well, you caught me out quite a few times….

And of course another bonus is, how good is it when a relief trainer turns up….I remember I had a teacher at school I hated and for a whole year, every morning I would say a little prayer and keep my fingers crossed as I walked to school that she would be sick that day, or better still dead….in the whole year she was only sick on one day…and that day is still on my list as one of the best days of my life….but of course my runners would never think that about me on the way to a Lazy Runner session. I’m warning you guys, if I see any fingers crossed, there will be trouble…




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